Connection Rather than Behavior

No better time for connecting rather than telling him to please stop screaming!

Just picked up a quote that has been deeply meaningful to me in terms of my children and also mind bogglingly not in alignment with what our culture promotes.  I can't take credit.  Another mom posted it on a connection parenting list serv.  She said that when in doubt about what she is doing with her kid she focuses on Connection not Behavior...meaning she is constantly tending to the quality of her authentic connection with her kid.  Authentic connection meaning: clear, boundaried, eye to eye, attuned (sometimes rough, sometimes soft) etc etc.  Artful discipline is connective rather than dis connective.  We have very few models for this in our culture and in addition we grown ups usually have our own wounding around connection that leave us being clingy, avoidant, both or kind of ambivalent. 

I am trying out the mantra: Focus on CONNECTION rather than behavior.  Will report back.