Loved Imperfectly

I am grateful to be back on the rails.  Back from the land of  something is wrong wtih me and now traversing the land of  "oh yeah,  my nervous system needs help sometimes and I still fall off the rails.  But nothing is wrong with me. "  A few serendipities today that came together to soothe my fear about relating in my last post -  about relating to people who cannot meet me in the ways that feel good to me...

"I am human.  I can't hold you all of the time but that doesn't mean I don't love you.  I am just limited in the energy I have to offer." Me to someone else

"Son I know you want me to hold you right now but I can't.  I can see you are really sad about that." Me to my Son
"If I know what I need/want is a response, I shouldn't reach to people who don't respond.  Reaching to them is not accepting what they have to offer." Me to my husband

"I am entitled to my experience and it really doesn't matter what others think of me, I felt it but it took some work." To me from Someone Else

"I discovered something this week.  What I realized is just because someone can't meet me in the exact way that I want does not mean that they do not care about me."  To me from Someone Else

I am at peace inside and I am so grateful for the work I do and the life I live.  I realize that I get the great privilege of sitting across from people while they tell their truth.  I was talking to my Dad today about my ouchies I was experiencing and about how grateful I am, although hard, that I have and do travel at the edges of wild darkness and frontier lands not travelled by the majority from time to time because myself and the other travellers who are my closest companions are bringing back information from that land useful for this one.  But, I am also grateful that as I have worked on myself longer and as I age, I needn't suffer to grow.